Why are handjobs necessary in class?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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