so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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