He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
