the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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