So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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