I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
