Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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