I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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