I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
