Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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