coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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