just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
