i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't turn off my feet"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
