I'm eating all of the evidence.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
