Porn is love you can see.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
