I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
