nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
