i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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