I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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