I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize