unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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