You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
