Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.