I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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