I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize