I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
