I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
