Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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