Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
