I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize