you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
