you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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