her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
