we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
