i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...