return my video game
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I wish I only lived at night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon