these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
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the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house