He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.