I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.