my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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