3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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