you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
