Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
