it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
