she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
