i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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