me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
