The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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