I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
