So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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