So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
