ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
