Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
