Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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