Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
