Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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