it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
