Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
