Can i not drive my cunt home
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
