So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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